attention

What do you give attention to? Sounds silly, doesn’t it? Of course, I pay attention to what’s going on around me, to what’s coming up, to my family and friends, and the news of the world. But really, if I’m truthful, I have to admit that most of what occupies my thoughts is, well, my thoughts. I pay lots of attention to the memories of conversations (adding what I “should” have said), or the potential conversations of the future (reworking them until I can “say” just the right thing). And I give lots of mind-time to how things should be – ultimately resulting in greater frustration about how things really are.

And lately, I’ve found myself saying (out loud), “I can’t imagine how this is going to go. I can’t picture how this is going to be resolved.” As if my ability to picture it has anything to do with how it will go in the future!! It’s one thing to get clear about my own perspective - it’s something entirely different to imagine how another person’s perspective is going to play along with mine. And once the words start coming out of my mouth, there’s no telling what words will come back toward me. I’m thinking that this has something to do with my need for security and a modicum of control. If I can picture it, then I can deal with it. If I can rehearse it, then maybe it will go my way – or at least I can make it better.

So, for today, I am going to try paying attention to the moment. To what is in front of me, and in me and in those around me. I’ll pray for the needs of the world, and for myself. That sounds like enough.